can we get nightvision for the apartment?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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