somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
