Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
