Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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