C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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