She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
