We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
