she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
