Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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