i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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