Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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