Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
