this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
