Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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