if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
