Banned from zoo.
Again?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
