dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
