just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
