You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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