her vagine was all disorganized.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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