We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
