just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So here I am, sexting at work.
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