Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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