I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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