No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
