im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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