i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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