That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
zippers are such a cool invention
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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