wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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