Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
