So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
