I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
