I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
