Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
