May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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