i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
