do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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