hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
