New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
