And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
