I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
