I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
