When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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