Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
