well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
