There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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