ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
