Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
