DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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