I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
