Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
